I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
