she smelled like a LAN party
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
