guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
porn star boner night. come get it.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
