With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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