I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
