what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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