Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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