I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
