you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize