Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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