Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
