Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
