..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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