take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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