Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Randomize
