My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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