How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
