Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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