I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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