I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
