Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
