Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
