if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
