your thong is hanging out like whoa
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
