Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
