We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
