U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
its not stalking. its research.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
