you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
