I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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