As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
