I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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