that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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