i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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