All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
