I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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