Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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