You're my little dorito
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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