your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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