she woke up with a sticky ear
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I love you. Go after that dick
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
