My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
