Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
