you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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