It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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