her vagine was all disorganized.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
