...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
