im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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