He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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