Im at strip club and am horny
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
