so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
