Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
