I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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