it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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